May 2014

For the first time, the cell phone being used for this website we call Abortion Advice rang. I was sitting upstairs with Joe around 10pm and he said, “What is that?” I jumped up and said, “Oh my goodness! That’s my website cell phone.” I ran downstairs and got to the phone just as it stopped ringing. Ugh! I called the number back and said, “This is Nancy from Abortion Advice and I didn’t get to the phone in time, please call back.” A few minutes later the phone began to ring again.

I answered the phone and this young voice said, “Do you only give abortion advice or do you also make appointments for abortions?” I chose not to answer that question. Instead I said, “I have 10 years experience working with young women facing crisis pregnancies. We really should meet.”

She said that she needed to get an abortion by Friday (she called me on a Wednesday) because that was when her mom was coming to her dorm to pick her up for the summer. She’s an 18 year old freshman and just found out she was pregnant a few hours prior to calling.

She gave me permission to come pick her up the next morning and agreed to let me bring my friend Tonya along who lives in the same town as Mary. We are trying to imitate how Jesus sent the disciples out two by two…instead of asking Mary to come to us, I grabbed a friend and went out to her.

Sitting across from her, Mary’s face was white as a ghost and when I asked how she felt, she said, “I feel scared.”

I asked her if she had any questions for us. The first question was, “How much does an abortion cost?” Tonya jumped right in (I was never going to answer this) and said, “Well, I went in for an abortion and at that time it cost $325. But that was over 12 years ago so who knows what it is now.” Then Tonya went on to explain that the receptionist at the clinic came over to her and said Tonya’s insurance card had just expired. Tonya said she remembers being overcome with such a rush of peace and left the abortion clinic and then left the boyfriend that told her to get an abortion. It was good that Tonya had a chance to share her relief in not having an abortion with Mary.

We spent 5 hours together yesterday. After setting up an appointment for an ultrasound at the Life Care Center, we came back to my house to kill some time. She watched a video my friend Ann Marie Cosgrove created and you can view it by clicking on this title: Valerie . It is a narration of a person sharing why she is Silent No More about her past abortion. In the video, Valerie shares how she was unable to have any children after the abortion due to an infection.

This video helped open up the door to Mary’s future dreams of being a nurse. Later on Mary shared that she was worried how she would be able to deal with having an abortion. I believe this video helped her to start thinking about the future and not just thinking about her immediate crisis.

It also opened the door to discuss Mary’s future hope of getting married and allowed us to share with her the fact that she was already a mother and her child simply needed to continue being fed to grow. It seems like an obvious statement but actually one must keep presenting this truth over and over again. You can see when Tonya brings up adoption that Mary is not really understanding this reality.

While we were driving to get a free ultrasound, Tonya shared with Mary her positive experience of placing her child for adoption and asked if Mary would ever consider adoption. Ready for the response?

“No way. I love kids too much. Here is a picture of me with my twin brother and sister when they were 5.” She pulls out her phone to show us the cutest picture of her holding her brother and sister, one on each hip.  They were wearing Scooby Do pajamas. Cutest picture on the planet. It was cute like this picture below but you have to imagine the other twin and the matching pajamas!


I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a response similar to Mary’s. I remember one young mom saying, “I’d rather kill my baby then give it to someone else to raise.” I used this opportunity to point out to Mary the protective instinct kicking in for her unborn baby and said, “Well, you are starting to sound like a mother lion protecting her cub. You already care about this baby enough to not want someone else to raise it. You will be a great mom. Keep on protecting this baby and don’t let anyone come near you who wants to hurt it.”

Mary told us that she was baptized Catholic and after further questioning, we discovered she has not been going to mass. It made me wonder if her first year away at college might have ended differently had she just been able to get herself to mass on Sundays.  She also was not able to receive Confirmation so we plan to reach out to her this fall and help her get Confirmed, God willing.

Please keep her in your prayers.







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