Dear Abortion Advice from Scared of Pain

Dear Abortion Advice:

I am afraid of the pain of childbirth.  But I am over 20 weeks pregnant and so now I am also afraid of the pain of an abortion.  What should I do?

From:  Scared of Pain

Dear Scared of Pain-

You actually just need to let your OBGYN doctor know about this fear you have.  And let him/her know that the fear of childbirth almost made you pick an abortion.  I think we’ve all seen too many movies with women screaming during delivery.  You can trust your doctor will take care of you.

I was in a domestic

Dear Abortion Advice:

The father of my baby has a warrant out for his arrest but he still comes around and I am so lonely that I let him in.  This has been going on for 6 months and now I am pregnant again. He has been in and out of jail for beating me up.  I know I should not have any contact anymore but he is the father of my kids.  What should I do?

Too Many Domestics

Dear Too Many Domestics:

I suggest calling 211 for help.  The problem with being in an abusive relationship for years is that sometimes women die.  Your children need you and 211 will get your connected with a Domestic Abuse Advocate.

You can do this.

Abortion Advice


Pregnant and Homeless

Dear Abortion Advice

I’m living on a relative’s couch right now because I was kicked out of apartment. I just found out I’m pregnant.  I have a job and am putting money away to get my own place but I’m scared.My emotions are all over the place. Some days I don’t want to deal with this and want an abortion and other days I want to keep the baby but worry if it will work out.

Pregnant and Homeless

Dear Pregnant and Homeless,

It understandable that you’re scared and that you want to have a safe stable place for you and the baby. There are professionals willing to help you.  I would suggest calling these national programs to learn what resources are available for women in your position:

The National Coalition for the Homeless

Women’s, Infants and Children (WIC)

Childcare Assistance Through the Office of Child Care

Right now, you could check with the county in which you live for a list of shelters for pregnant women.

Abortion Advice

What are Braxton Hicks? from Confused in Minnesota


Dear Abortion Advice:

I was thinking of getting an abortion but decided to stay pregnant.  I am only in my second trimester but I keep getting these contractions.  A friend said they are probably Braxton Hicks contractions.  How do I know if I should call my doctor?

Confused in Minnesota

Dear Confused:

Good question.  Since we can’t offer medical advice, I would suggest going to see your doctor to figure out what is going on.  But while you are sitting in their office with nothing to do, you could follow this link to the Mayo Clinic’s website.  So glad you decided to stay pregnant!

Dear Abortion Advice from Confused and Scared

Dear Abortion Advice,

I just found out I’m pregnant and my boyfriend doesn’t want the baby. He’s pressuring me to have an abortion. I’m don’t want to have an abortion and I’m confused and scared. What should I do?

Confused and Scared

Dear Confused and Scared,
We believe that choice and free will are very important.  Sounds like your boyfriend is trying to limit you to one choice. You do have options and there are many resources in the area that will help you keep your baby and make sure that you and your baby have everything you need. Stand strong and listen to your gut.

Here’s a link to a resource for women in the Twin Cities who are facing unexpected pregnancies but there are many others too:

Dear Abortion Advice from Overwhelmed

Dear Abortion Advice,

I have a 5-year-old son and I’m so far in debt. I just found out I’m pregnant again and I’m considering having an abortion because I’m worried about paying my bills.  What else can I do?

Overwhelmed in Minnesota

Dear Overwhelmed in Minnesota,

Life can be tough when you’re a single mom and the bills are piling up. But you don’t need to have an abortion because of debt. There are a lot of resources to help out with food and rent.

Check out these websites for help with rent and food. You can do this and you’re not alone.

Click here for more information

Dear Abortion Advice from Annoyed

Dear Abortion Advice:

I just found out I’m pregnant and I already have 2 kids.  I thought I was done having children.  My whole life I’ve been against abortion but now I’m thinking about getting one.  What do you think?


Dear Annoyed:
Well, since you’ve always been against abortion, I would recommend you follow the advice a wise woman once shared with me.  Her pregnancy came at a time that was difficult for her.(sounds similar to your situation)  She decided against abortion and said, “You know what, I’m just going to roll with it.”

Dear Abortion Advice from Annoyed

Dear Abortion Advice:

I am so annoyed with the attitude of my parents.  They are going to have a real problem finding out that I am pregnant since I am not married.  So many of my friends have gotten abortions to avoid this judgement.  My parents are also against abortion.  I am thinking this might be my only chance to have a baby.  Ugh.


Dear Annoyed:

I get your annoyance with your parents attitude.  You can’t make them happy by either choice.  But if you really think this might be your only chance to have a baby I would definitely hang in there.  If they give your a hard time, ask would they prefer you got an abortion for their grandchild.  That might help!

Dear Abortion Advice from Considering Adoption

Dear Abortion Advice:

I was thinking about getting an abortion but I am afraid I am too far along.  Is it possible to put my baby up for adoption but still know he or she is okay?

Considering Adoption

Dear Considering:

Yes, with open adoptions you can have a wide range of options for staying in touch.  Some families have the birth mother be a part of the child’s life in the same way a favorite aunt would be connected.

Dear Abortion Advice from Curious

Dear Abortion Advice:
I found out I was having a baby boy and did a gender reveal party on Father’s Day.  Now I’m worried that the ultrasound might be wrong.  How accurate are they and how far along should you be to tell the sex?


Dear Curios:

Several factors, such as the stage of pregnancy and position of the fetus, will influence the accuracy of the gender prediction.  The ultrasound is usually done between 18-20 weeks for gender prediction.